I want to talk about new horizons and directions I am planning on going.
Ah, this won’t be your usual Naruto post, let’s get a bit outside this area.
I feel like it has intoxicated me a bit… I want to talk a bit about my new directions, my new horizons…
These last few days I meditated a lot, about a lot of things. I remembered many things about myself which at a point used to define me. Or, at least, the person I was at that time.
Most of them have to do with my childhood. I remembered what I used to like to do when I was considerably younger.
What made me happy, those little things. Somehow, by remembering the things that used to make me really happy, it’s like I’ve rediscovered my true self and now I know on which direction to go. Towards what horizons…
New horizons: going back to my core
I remembered that I used to like writing. No matter what, either prose or poetry, it didn’t matter.
I had times of writing both prose, as well as poetry. Prose I loved more for imagination, poetry was more for expressing feelings.
I remember that I used to like painting and to generally paint/draw.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t the best. It is a “talent” if you wanna name it like that, similar to an uncut diamond.
You know how they say about diamonds… All it takes for it to shine like the brilliant jewelry that it is it’s the right polishing…
It was something I gave-up at some point from reasons rather, I don’t know… maybe social and economical?
Design in my country isn’t the most well looked up upon when it comes to a future career given the society we, as Romanians live in.
Given what we’re taught as children. You’re given a bit of time to dream as kid and as you grow up, you start living the reality which forces you to stop dreaming.
And somehow become more “mature”, so you can handle life better.
But it happens that somehow, just because we forgot our little children somewhere in the corner of our souls, our real dreams and ideals and became more “mature” and “realists”, we get in the end to live these miserable lives.
When all that we would like to do is live our dream. Maybe even leave a good mark on mankind and be generally cool, nice, prosperous people.
But that stems from the innocence of our childhood which is slowly but surely ripped apart as we grow older.
The points of life
And we may get to a point in life where we feel lost and it’s like we don’t know where to head towards, what to do, how to live our lives?
Well, I think I have found my answer.
I might have felt lost myself, but I decided to be a little selfish and for once, offer myself some time to get to know me and what makes me happy. And what would make me happy, what I would like to do with my life, how I would like to live it, can I live it given the society I live in.
Can I adapt so I can somehow “meet them both halfway”? And all sorts of kind of questions.
So you see, after reflecting with myself a bit, I remembered what used to make me happy. And what I dreamed to be when I was little. And given that I have grown older and my perceptions over time changed, maybe I don’t have the same dreams. But I do know I have some dreams that are close to those things I hold close to my heart, which I will fight trying to fulfill.
Or die trying, haha!
At least, I have my objective in life set. I just have to do in a certain way so that I can fulfill everything else that is required besides these dreams, of course, with real life job and things to take care of.
Inspiration in others
And I don’t know… Given that I remembered all those things I was telling you at the beginning about. And given how i was inspired lately given the people I came in contact with when I joined the Naruto/NaruSaku fandom, I have established some goals of mine I want to reach as soon as possible.
I have been inspired by a lot of wonderful people like LadyGT, Dattebae, Lapoin, Fireeaglespirit, Lisimba, DMX, Noldien, Lilith’s Kiss, Sixfootdeep. And all those wonderful artists names I have had the chance to encounter on Tumblr.
Despite maybe not being of the same fandom subset, it’s just that I have been so inspired by their art and by other factors. Such as my own memories and the stories I came across over the years. So, given how much I love design and want to improve myself, in order to be able to one day, maybe, write my own story, draw my own characters, design, animation, so on and so forth, I’ve made my decision.
Therefore, what I look forward to are the following things:
– study design, drawing, how to draw etc.;
– study about writing your own story, character building, world building etc. Here I must confess is although I do have literary knowledge as in commenting literary pieces and all that, when you have to write your own story, it’s a bit difficult/different;
– study more about design techniques, animation techniques, I want to learn how to do montage/amvs and stuff like that.
Also besides that I have tons of other things to take care of or take into consideration or study about but those are things of maybe other times to discuss.
Now, I just have these new horizons that I want to meet. I already somehow have a fade skeleton in mind of the story I want to build.
I don’t know if I will do it or this will remain at this stadium of idea/concept. But at least I hope that one day, I’ll look back and be proud that it didn’t?
That I would have fought life and no matter how hard it is, I have made my dream reality?
I don’t really know, I just know that I am not ready to give up hope, never have, never will. Anyway, that’s about it for now.